Friday, 21 April 2017

Carlton Oversees The Shopping


It's Friday- the day Carlton takes over my blog. Views are his own and not necessarily, in fact, rarely, shared by the blog owner.

 
Carlton Oversees The Shopping

by Carlton Cat

THE Mr and Mrs have done their big weekly shop. I didn’t know a famine of epic proportions was imminent. We seem to have enough food for a small town with enough left over for a village.

I watched as they packed everything away. ‘Thank God that’s done,’ said the Mrs as she flopped down on to a chair. The Mr put the kettle on. ‘Time for a nice cup of tea,’ he said.

But I had been watching as they stuffed item after item into groaning cupboards but hadn’t spotted any meaty chunks, salmon pate or rabbit in jelly. I jumped onto the table and into the last bag.

Nothing.

WHAT! No meaty chunks? (That's not me in that picture, by the way; I am much more handsome.)
I emerged and gave an angry meow. The Mr and Mrs looked at each other, shouted, ‘We’ve forgotten the cat food,’ simultaneously, pulled on their coats and made a dash for the door.

This was an hour ago and now I’m sitting here, tail swishing, waiting for the scatterbrained pair to return.

I am not best pleased.

Here's a lovely reusable shopping bag. Buy it HERE



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Tuesday, 18 April 2017

Carlton Breaks A Vase


It's Friday- the day Carlton takes over my blog. Views are his own and not necessarily, in fact, rarely, shared by the blog owner.

 
Carlton Breaks A Vase

by Carlton Cat

IT may not have escaped your notice that words above are a LIE. It is not Friday, it is Tuesday. The Mr and Mrs deserted me for a whole three days and I had to suffer the indignity of being looked after by some know-nothing niece who doesn't even  grasp the basic principles of ear-rubbing. 

I know. Shocking.

To add insult to injury, the pair of them are now at work and I am left to my own devices with my unrubbed tummy and no legs to stretch out on.

To keep myself amused I chased a spider along a shelf and accidentally knocked off the Mrs's best vase. My bad.


When she came home she put on that ‘I’m so disappointed in you’ face. You know, the one that makes her look like she’s chewing on a lemon - all pursed lips and scrunched up eyes. But I sat in front of her, looking cute as only I can, and reached out to touch her leg with my paw.

She melted, of course, picked me up and said for the umpteenth time: ‘What am I going to do with you Carlton?’

You’d think she’d know by now. GIVE ME PRAWNS.
 





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Friday, 7 April 2017

Carlton Struggles To Understand Humans



It's Friday- the day Carlton takes over my blog. Views are his own and not necessarily, in fact, rarely, shared by the blog owner.

 
Carlton Struggles To Understand Humans

by Carlton Cat

I FEAR I do not sufficiently understand the human race. In an effort to get into the head of the Mrs. I sat on her chest while she was asleep in bed and stared. She awoke and pushed me off. 

When she fell back asleep I sat on her chest again and resumed my staring. This happened five or six times until the alarm went off.

‘I’ve hardly slept a wink,’ she told the Mr. ‘That cat’s been creeping me out.’ 


‘The staring?’ he asked. She nodded.

‘I know,’ he replied. ‘Sometimes he’s like a character out of Nightmare On Elm Street.’

Nightmare On Elm Street? I don't remember seeing a handsome ginger cat in that. I thought I was more like the cat in the old Disney film The Three Lives of Thomasina, based on the Paul Gallico book Thomasina: The Cat Who Thought She Was God. 

Oh, that's a good idea for a film. Carlton: The Cat Who WAS a God. 

Take note, Disney.




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Friday, 31 March 2017

Carlton's Facebook Picture


It's Friday- the day Carlton takes over my blog. Views are his own and not necessarily, in fact, rarely, shared by the blog owner.

 
Carlton's Facebook Picture

by Carlton Cat

 THE Mrs has got a new camera.  Lord. I’ve had that bloody lens in my face all day long. I wake from a sleep and she’s there in front of me taking a picture. I go to my cat bowl and get blinded by the flash, I walk out through the cat flap and she’s photographing my arse. There’s something wrong with the woman. 

Seriously.

Her Facebook page is awash with photos. There’s one of last night’s dinner, one of the only shrub in the garden that isn’t half dead, another of the Mr holding up a glass of wine, a selfie of the two of them grinning into the camera like two loons.

They’ve all got comments from her friends like, ‘Lovely pic, babe,’ ‘Aw, you two!’, ‘Looks delish, hun,’ and ‘Well done you!’

Today she posted the one of my rear end filling up the cat flap as I exited the house.


I refuse to suffer the indignity of showing my own picture.
To give you an idea, it was something like this.... *annoyed
 An earlier post with a picture of me posing like the feline god I am got 55 likes - this one got 144.

WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE?

Tuesday, 28 March 2017

Inappropriate Purring






FOR cat lovers purring is one of the most beautiful sounds in the world. Who doesn't love a cuddle with a beloved pet who is purring contentedly?

But a purring cat is not necessarily a happy cat. Most owners know that cats also purr when they are in pain. Now "inappropriate purring" has been identified when a cat is trying to relax itself in times of distress.

According to Pets4Homes, inappropriate purring can confuse pet owners who are wondering why their cats are ‘singing’ during an examination by a vet or when they have a protective cone over their head.

A female cat may purr while giving birth to a litter of kittens but this isn’t to identify that she is relaxed or content, it’s to keep herself and her kittens calm and is a unique self protective mechanism.
The purring helps the cat to block out outside sounds so all they hear is their own sound as a vibration through their bodies as well as aurally. This is why cats may purr when there are outside stimulus such as loud fireworks.

Cats will also soothe themselves when they are ill or very old by purring. However, it is important to remember than inappropriate purring is pretty uncommon and there will more than likely be other signs and symptoms that something is amiss too as well as just the sound that the cat is making.

Cats will purr to show you affection far more often than they will purr to say something is wrong so while the extra knowledge and vigilance is necessary, don’t let it take away any of the comfort your pet’s purr brings to you both.

If you suspect there is more to your cat's purring than contentment, a trip to the vet may be in order.



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Friday, 24 March 2017

Carlton Perfects 'The Stare'

It's Friday- the day Carlton takes over my blog. Views are his own and not necessarily, in fact, rarely, shared by the blog owner.

 
Carlton Perfects 'The Stare'

by Carlton Cat


TODAY I have been perfecting The Stare. Sadly the Mr and Mrs are decidedly slow when it comes to reading my facial expressions. But I think I’ve now got The Stare down to a fine art - even Mr and Mrs Dim won’t be able to mistake my intentions.

If they feed me and I look into the bowl and give them The Stare they should jolly well know that I am less than enamoured with its contents. If I empty the bowl and give them The Stare, I am still STARVING.

If you see this look, jump to attention.


If they are sitting on the sofa and reading a newspaper or a book and I jump onto their lap, claw away said publication and give them The Stare, they must immediately put aside their reading matter and give me their full attention.

If I sit in front of a door staring at it with my nose one inch away, that door MUST BE OPENED IMMEDIATELY. Similarly, if I give The Stare to cupboards or drawers, there is something inside that I want.

Come on, guys, it’s not rocket science.




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Wednesday, 22 March 2017

A to Z Challenge



I met many of my blogger friends through the annual A to Z Challenge. This year, however, they are not providing a link list. I can't say I approve of this new policy as it was so handy to click onto a blog link and visit lots of blogs I might not otherwise have bothered with.

I have now signed up my blog at Blog Chatter and will follow the links there.

How are those of you who take part in the A to Z Challenge going to find links?


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