Tuesday, 2 June 2015

Review: One Hundred Ways For A Cat To Train Its Humans by Celia Haddon

HERE are a couple of tips from one cat to another, particularly useful in the middle of the night:
  • Jump on the mantelpiece or dressing-table and swipe off anything standing there. This is useful for waking up any sleeping humans.
  • Dive-bomb your human from the bedhead or nearby furniture to wake it up. Aim at groin, breast or head.
These tips and 98 others come from a book called One Hundred Ways for A Cat To Train Its Humanby Celia Haddon.

This pocket-sized little gem would make a purrfect gift for a cat lover. It's full of hilarious one-liners and anecdotes which will resonate with any of us who are owned by a cat.

As the writer so succinctly puts:  "Remember. Humans have the mental age of a one-week-old blind kitten. They cannot express themselves in body language because they have no tail and no whiskers; their hair can't stand up and their ears are completely inflexible. They can learn only a few words from the huge body-language feline vocabulary."

We are also told that though humans cannot speak Cat, they vocalise repeatedly. Most of their vocalisations are meaningless and can be completely ignored.

For now, a couple more tips:
  • To get a male human off an armchair, jump on the back of it, hold down his head with a firm paw and lick his bald patch. Purring right into the ear is one of the kindest ways to tell a human.
  • Anything not nailed down is a cat toy, except a new cat toy.
Finally, here's one that my cat is doing every day:
  • Walk over to the computer keyboard, being careful to press down the keys. Use your body to shield the interesting additions to the screen. Stand on one key so that a character repeats itself endlessly.
I have now hidden the book away somewhere my cat will never find it - in the expensive cat bed I bought her.

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  1. I should pick up a copy. That's too funny.

    1. I found a used copy! It will take a while to reach me here in the USA but I look forward to reading when it does.

  2. Of course. Anything meant for the cat isn't meant for the cat...

  3. Oh now this is a book that would be fun to read since our cats do all of these routinely. Especially kneading my boob at 2 in the morning

  4. Ah the joys of being owned by a cat. A long time since I was, but I can sympathise with those who are.

  5. That looks very funny, I need to add it to my list of books to read.

  6. MOL Dat sounds like a pawsum book.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Lexi

  7. Sounds like a hilarious book! Anything with good tips to train humans sounds good to us... they can use all they training they can get!

  8. This is hilarious! I'm going to put this book on my wish list.



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