Thursday, 7 April 2016

Fitness


Yes, it's me, Carlton The Special One


For the duration of the A to Z Challenge, Carlton Cat will be taking over this blog. He's a little bit of a maverick moggie with strong views.

Fitness

NEITHER the Mr or the Mrs are exactly life's young dream any more, if they ever were.  I know they look at me and wonder how I can retain my svelte physique and devastating good looks without seeming to lift a paw.

But they don't see what goes on behind the scenes. True, I sleep for 18 hours a day but those six hours I am awake, I am like a well-oiled machine, ready to spring into life at any second. I am honed, toned and ready for action.

My young friend keeping fit.
Let me tell you about my fitness regime.

Firstly, diet. I eat 99.9% protein. Unlike Mrs, I never stuff my face with cakes or biscuits and unlike Mr, I consume no beer with its empty calories. They could learn a lot from me. Often I have to expend calories to consume calories. Some of those spiders and mice are pretty nippy, let me tell you. If only the Mr and Mrs had to harvest the wheat and hops and chase down a bullock or two before they could eat, they wouldn't be worrying about their weight.

I build exercise into my day. For example, there is an ornament on top of the bookcase. Jumping and climbing to get to it so I can send it flying to the ground keeps me fit. I do deep stretches every time I wake from a slumber. I am good at yoga - but I may keep my yoga tips for the letter Y.

Stretching exercises.

Mr and Mrs think I am having a funny five minutes when I suddenly start chasing a ball around the house. No, I am practising my eye to paw co-ordination and doing my cardio work-out. Similarly, they smile when I leap into the air for no apparent reason. Silly people, it's all part of the Carlton Keep Fit Class.

They laugh when I come hurtling through the cat flap at a rate of knots and may ask, "Did something frighten you in the garden, Carlton?" I comb my whiskers and try to appear nonchalant because I am a brave cat and next door's barking dog doesn't scare me a bit. Oh no. What I am doing, Mr and Mrs, is speed training. Obviously.

So that is why there is not an ounce of fat on me. You humans would do well to follow my example .





I have another blog in the A to Z Challenge HERE.




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12 comments:

Pat Hatt said...

Not sure humans should try running through any cat flaps, but yep, they should get off their butt haha

Kathleen Valentine said...

I have a feeling Carlton would be a tough task master.

Meet My Imaginary Friends
#AtoZchallenge http://www.kathleenvalentineblog.com/

Darla M Sands said...

Awesome cat-asthenic regimen. ~grin~ What a handsome cat you are.

Josie Two Shoes said...

Most fun blog post of the day, Carleton sounds a lot like me in his reasoning for his daily routines. I wish they worked as well for me as he believes they are working for him! :-)
Josie's Journal

Jans Funny Farm said...

Hmm, do your humans know you wrote this about them? We figure not since it's uncensored. Jan would have hit the delete button so we couldn't talk about her exercise lack. She really should take up chasing spiders.

Scarlett Braden said...

Carlton's tips seem very sound. Maybe they will work for me, I was just thinking of trying the 99.9% protein diet. I can do a little jumping around, I'm not sure about darting through cat flaps, but maybe a little dancing will work in it's place.
Thank you for the happy blog!
ScarlettBraden from
Frankly Scarlett

Jo said...

Only problem with cat flaps, other stray cats could enter (and did in my home once ending up with lots of fighting and yowling in the middle of the night and one of the contenders emptying their bowels on the stairs). Also, cats are well know to be the controllers of an alien race which we humans cannot see which is why they do leaps etc. which seem pointless to us, but mean they are chasing these aliens. There is an article about it on Facebook.

pilch92 15andmeowing said...

Good to know you keep fit. Us humans should take lessons from you.

live and learn said...

Carlton needs to give some tips to my cat, Annie. She is not so svelte. Maybe when he gives yoga lessons, that will do the trick for her.

Visiting from A-Z

Liz A. said...

Hey, Carlton, what is your feeling about sinks? I just ran across something today. Cats in sinks. There's a website. Strange.

Vanilla Bean said...

Darling! So enjoyed the Carlton Keep Fit Class
~VanillaBean at Travelling Spoons

Birgit said...

Oh Carlton, you have not met our Mia who has never ran and huffs and puffs when she moves around for a few seconds trying to catch that red light.