Friday, 13 May 2016

Ginger Genius


Ginger Genius
by Carlton Cat

The Mr and Mrs were sitting at the computer in deep discussion. Occasionally they'd look up and stare at me. I didn't like it one bit so I strolled over to see what was occupying their attention. Turned out they were doing one of those quizzes. 

This one was called Is Your Cat a Goof or a Genius? in the Reader's Digest. I was offended. Surely they already knew they were living with a ginger genius.

If there is a meltdown in society forget about survivalism and stockpiling tins of beans and bear-traps. Instead, tie yourself to a cat - for what animal is better equipped to survive whatever the odds? 

It's very nice of the Mr and Mrs to feed me, shelter me and care for me but, if the chips are down, I know I can skip out the front door, find food to eat and, more importantly, soon hook up with the one person in the neighbourhood with an underground shelter, his own well and a couple of thousand cans of meaty chunks. See, genius.

Just look at my computer skills. I can walk across a keyboard and the next day a packet of balloons shaped like animals, four iPads and The Complete Works of Shakespeare will arrive from Amazon. See, genius.

Then there are my shape-shifting abilities. I and the Mrs have written before about my ability to take up a whole bed. I weigh about 11lbs (5kg) and yet I can oust those two monsters I live with to a tiny corner of the bed where they hang on for dear life and mutter about swapping me for a gerbil. That's because overnight I turn into a 150lb (68kg) panther. See, genius.

Modesty precludes me from mentioning all my other genius abilities, plus my paws are getting tired from all this typing (oh yes, I am a genius typist).

Anyway, the results of this test were: "You may just be living with a feline Einstein! Your cat is extremely intelligent and continually amazes you with new tricks. Your cat also knows how to get you to do things his way. You’re going to need to be pretty crafty yourself if you want to outsmart your cat!"

And, by the way, I am so genius I have my own Twitter account Carlton's Corner.  

Yes, I am a genipuss.



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14 comments:

Cathy Keisha said...

No kidding about the genius thing. I once found a paper in the condo and all that was written on it was "the cat is a genius." TW doesn't remember how it got there either.

Carlton said...

Cathy: That made me laugh! Cats ARE genius!

That's Purrfect said...

Cathy: That made me laugh! Cats ARE genius!

Three Chatty Cats said...

Yes, cats are geniuses! (And so humble.)

McGuffy Ann Morris said...

Well, cats are geniuses...it does not take one to know that! *wink*

pilch92 15andmeowing said...

Of course you are a genius and quite handsome too. I think orange cats are more intelligent, our ginger girl Prancie is very clever.

Jo said...

I would love to live with a cat again, maybe one day.

The Island Cats said...

You don't have to tell us that cats are geniuses. We've got the humans beat by a mile when it comes to brains. ;)

Liz A. said...

Of course it's genius. Or insanity. Probably genius.

diedre Knight said...

I once had two 'gingers' hanging around in my space. One, I called Hoarse, because he was. Couldn't utter but raspy whispers passed his whiskers, but what a feisty love he was! Joey, clearly missed the genius train as he liked to sleep in sinks and detested water;-)

The Indulged Furries said...

Oh my gosh, that quiz was too long for my human. We kitties are geniuses but the humans....well, I don't know.

Misha Gericke said...

Yep. Cats are geniuses. Thanks for stopping by my blog. :-)

Darla M Sands said...

Well, I've accustomed myself to being a tool. Our cats, having outwitted those of us with thumbs, have humans as tools. ~grin~ It's a living.

Darla M Sands said...

I believe all cats to be genius, especially if they have humans. That means they are tool users and we are their tools. :)