Friday, 6 May 2016

Talking Carlton





 Talking Carlton
by Carlton Cat

YES, it's me, Carlton. It seems like only yesterday I was taking part in that A to Z thing, which the Mrs conned me into doing. Twenty-six posts in twenty-six days! My little paws were red hot with all that typing. Now she wants me to do a regular post every Friday. I suppose I'd better keep her sweet - she does feed me and care for me, after all.

Did you see that post she wrote yesterday? Some IDIOT has invented a collar that can "translate" cat meows into words. I ask you. Is there a cat in the world that can't immediately make their views known?

I carry on long conversations with both Mr and Mrs. In  fact, sometimes when I am in the kitchen with the Mrs discussing the merits of  meaty chunks in gravy versus fish pate, Mr will shout from the sitting-room, "Who are you talking to?" She replies, "Carlton!" and he doesn't bat an eyelid.

They know when I am cross with them - one glare from my amber eyes and they are suitably chastened. And they know when I chirrup I am exceedingly happy - I've probably just seen off that twit Rajah (Oo, I'm Half Persian) from next door.

I "tell" them when I've had enough of my tummy being tickled by digging my claws into their hands - they always get the message. I can easily inform them when I want to go into a room by scratching the door - they run to open it for me.

They know when I'm hungry; I sit accusingly in front of my EMPTY bowl. They know when I'm not well - piles of vomit can speak volumes. And they can easily ascertain when I want to play because I'm either sat on top of the bookcase waiting to pounce, chewing Mr's hair from the back of the sofa or chasing a small ball around as fast as a particle going around the Hadron Collider.

So I may not speak actual words but by sign language, gestures and body language, we communicate perfectly well.



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11 comments:

J.L. Weigt said...

Oh Carlton, I'm so glad you'll be doing a regular post for your Mrs. I got accustomed to your voice, as they say, during the AtoZ, and can't wait to hear more of your witty banter! In fact, I got a bit behind in my reading over April, so expect a comment or two more from me in the next little while -- in human speak, since I'm not able to convey my message in the same ways you do! :)
Jamie Lyn Weigt | Writing Dragons Blog

Liz A. said...

That's very true. But some humans aren't as bright and need cues like a voice collar to help.

pilch92 15andmeowing said...

I agree, cats are great at getting their point across :)

Jo said...

I do think cats do an amazing job of communicating with us somewhat lacking humans. You are probably right, you don't need one of those collars Carlton.

Brian said...

We are usually pretty good a communication with the peeps, if we want to that is!

McGuffy Ann Morris said...

Doing rescue for over 35 years, I understand what cats want and need. I am a cat whisperer, too. Hugs.

diedre Knight said...

Don't stand for it Carlton! A collar around your neck could make it very difficult to stealthily dart through bushes or accomplish ambush attacks from under the sofa ;-)
I look forward to your antics!

The Island Cats said...

Carlton, the mom pretty much can figure out what were saying and what we want.

Josie Two Shoes said...

You are absolutely right Carlton, we don't need translator collars for our furkids either, they each make it perfectly clear in their own way what they want, and what they don't want... they are also masters at Guilt 101 if we accidentally ignore them for a minute or two! ;-)

Birgit said...

I totally understand the claws in my hand meaning ...buzz off, you're bugging me.

Darla M Sands said...

We don't need a translator for our girls, either. ~grin~ They make themselves very plain. I look forward to your Friday musings!