by Carlton Cat
YES, it's me, Carlton. It seems like only yesterday I was taking part in that A to Z thing, which the Mrs conned me into doing. Twenty-six posts in twenty-six days! My little paws were red hot with all that typing. Now she wants me to do a regular post every Friday. I suppose I'd better keep her sweet - she does feed me and care for me, after all.
Did you see that post she wrote yesterday? Some IDIOT has invented a collar that can "translate" cat meows into words. I ask you. Is there a cat in the world that can't immediately make their views known?
I carry on long conversations with both Mr and Mrs. In fact, sometimes when I am in the kitchen with the Mrs discussing the merits of meaty chunks in gravy versus fish pate, Mr will shout from the sitting-room, "Who are you talking to?" She replies, "Carlton!" and he doesn't bat an eyelid.
They know when I am cross with them - one glare from my amber eyes and they are suitably chastened. And they know when I chirrup I am exceedingly happy - I've probably just seen off that twit Rajah (Oo, I'm Half Persian) from next door.
I "tell" them when I've had enough of my tummy being tickled by digging my claws into their hands - they always get the message. I can easily inform them when I want to go into a room by scratching the door - they run to open it for me.
They know when I'm hungry; I sit accusingly in front of my EMPTY bowl. They know when I'm not well - piles of vomit can speak volumes. And they can easily ascertain when I want to play because I'm either sat on top of the bookcase waiting to pounce, chewing Mr's hair from the back of the sofa or chasing a small ball around as fast as a particle going around the Hadron Collider.
So I may not speak actual words but by sign language, gestures and body language, we communicate perfectly well.
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