Friday, 12 August 2016

Cats and Doors: Lessons for Kittens


It's Friday - the day Carlton takes over my blog. Views are his own and not necessarily, in fact, rarely, shared by the blog owner.

Cats and Doors: Lessons for Kittens

by Carlton Cat


GOOD morning, pupils. Today I am going to teach you kittens how to behave around doors.

You are young and at your stage of life probably think doors are only ever opened by your pet human. This is true…up to a point. One of the first skills you need to learn is how to get your pet human to open the door on command.

After all, you don't want to lose your dignity like the young chap below, do you?

 

Often all that is required is sitting in front of the door and meowing in your most annoying tone of voice. The times I've heard the words, "For goodness sake, Carlton, go outside if you're going to make that racket," before the door is flung open. 

Sometimes your pet human is on the opposite side of the door in a room you want to enter. The "annoying meow" tactic may work here too. Sometimes, though, they pretend they can't hear you. In which case you have to proceed to Stage Two. Start scratching the door. For some reason pet humans hate this and will rush to open the door before you have done more than make a few marks on it.


Other useful tactics include jumping up at the door handle, rubbing your hind feet on the floor as if you need a "comfort break" and sitting an inch from the door and glaring at it.

If the worst comes to the worst and your pet humans are so terminally stupid they don't understand what you want (or if you are Home Alone), you can always open the door yourself. This is tricky and will require practice but it's not impossible.


Now pay attention, class. This last module is the most important part of my lesson plan.

If your pet human has gone to a lot of trouble to open the door for you - maybe they were in the middle of a phone call, busy doing chores or engrossed in a TV show - it is imperative that as soon as the door is open you turn around and go back into the room.  You can, if you wish, stand or sit in the open doorway and stare out for quite considerable time while they wait (usually impatiently). However, the end result is the same. You end up back where you started from.




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12 comments:

Liz A. said...

Well, that's one way to do it.

Jo said...

I don't have a cat living with me any more, but I do remember these tricks. I have seen cats open doors too.

pilch92 15andmeowing said...

Great lessons Carlton, I am not letting my cats read this post though :)

Austin Towers said...

Great post, Carlton!! I learnt all those tactics at a furry young age and am glad to see that most kitties are singing from the same hymn sheet (very loudly!) One other tactic, for those who are allowed outside, is to (once the door is opened) stand with your feet on the outside and your tail on the inside for a very long time thinking about your next move!! The human generally loses interest, but you have to make sure they don't shut your tail in the door!!! Eek!

Brian said...

Those really were good lessons! I always heard that when one door closes another one opens. Not here!

Birgit said...

Ah yes, they have trained us well and snicker at us also.

live and learn said...

Hi, Carlton, I haven't visited for a while, but I'm glad to catch up with you again. My cats are very advanced in door opening, so they don't need any lessons. However, I only wished you had added why you do what you do. We humans hate to be in the dark all the time about what motivates cat behavior.

Kitties Blue said...

We have our humans trained purrfectly using all the methods you describe. We each do have our specialty! We all do love to sit halfway in and halfway out. It frustrates the humans SO MUCH! We all got a good laugh out of that kitten trying to squeeze through the door crack. It is impawtant to train them early. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

Marie Symeou said...

Great advice, Carlton!


Purrs xx
Athena and Marie

Colehaus Cats said...

Yes, yes, YES! We consider ourselves masters at the door game. Our favorite is slowly peeling off the protective tape our Mom so lovingly puts on our doors supposedly to keep us from scratching the wood. MOL! Doesn't work!

Jans Funny Farm said...

A very wise lesson. Doors are meant to be opened so cats can decide whether they want to enter or leave or perhaps enter and leave.

Darla M Sands said...

Well, I know my place. So this is a good lesson for those not in the know.

~grin~