Friday, 5 August 2016

Home Alone


It's Friday - the day Carlton takes over my blog. Views are his own and not necessarily, in fact, rarely, shared by the blog owner.

Home Alone

by Carlton Cat

I AM pissed off; well and truly pissed off. The Mr and Mrs have been on holiday and, like some feline Macauley Culkin, left me Home Alone. Yes, ALONE!

Well, nearly alone. Their two nieces have taken it in turns to pop in regularly to make sure I am fed, watered and unkidnapped. They have checked I haven't been sold to a ginger-slave trader and forced to sleep in a cold and cheerless attic, eat cheap supermarket own brand slop and made to keep down the mice population of a small town.

Admittedly, one or other of them has stayed the night so in fact I have had more company than I do when the Mr and Mrs are both working. BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

How could they so callously abandon me to my fate?
Picture: Morguefile.com

The two girls were fine in their own way but they don't know me as well as the Mr and Mrs do so were neglectful in certain areas. I tried to show my displeasure by sitting on top of the bookcase and giving Girl 1 the evil eye. She didn't even notice and I couldn't stay up there long as a cat's gotta eat and she had just filled my bowl with tuna chunks.

I surprised Girl 2 with the "gift" of a mouse but all she did was scream like… well, like a girl, and got out the rubber gloves to dispose of it.

Neither of them knew even the most basic cat care. Can you believe it, they didn't even know how to rub ears properly. I KNOW! Astonishing in this day and age.

In fact my ears were badly neglected receiving only a cursory stroke as the hand travelled from head to tail. They have not mastered the art of stretching out on the sofa so I can sit on their legs. In fact, not once did either of them put their feet up.
 *shakes head in bewilderment*

Both of them shut the bedroom against me, leaving me outside to make my displeasure known vociferously until they opened it and I stalked in with my tail held high to take my rightful place on the duvet.

Amateurs, the pair of them.

Anyway, the Mr and Mrs are back now. They tried to make an almighty great fuss of me but I was having none of it. I gave them my most disdainful look and stalked off to sleep in the garden. They brought me lots of presents so when I felt I had punished them for long enough, I came back in to rip off paper, chew treats and play with feathery things.

The Mrs is now singing as loudly and tunelessly as ever in the kitchen and the Mr is stretched out on the sofa with the TV remote welded to his hand and me trapping his legs.

At last, normal service is resumed.




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6 comments:

Liz A. said...

Ah yes, it's so terrible when your people leave you to the care of others...

pilch92 15andmeowing said...

How awful that you were abandoned and your nieces wouldn't let you in the bedroom. You poor kitty.

Jo said...

I remember, many years ago, when I lived with a cat, if I dared to go out for the evening, I would be greeted by a stiff back showing total displeasure. Sorry Carlton, we have to go away sometimes. I am sorry you felt neglected.

Josie Two Shoes said...

I am so sorry that that you were terribly "neglected" like this Carleton! I'm sure my furkids could sympathize, since they are none to happy when we go away for a day or a few. Right now they are enjoying having me home at their disposal, 24/7, but we will miss each other when I find a job and go back to work.

The Island Cats said...

Well, that was quite unfair of your humans leaving you like that. Did they at least bring you some treats or toys to make up for it?

Darla M Sands said...

My cat Tilly feels quite differently as she gets all the kibble she can eat when we go away for a day or two. And she is happy with any human's attention, too, so the pet sitters satisfy her quite nicely. Kitty Jezebel isn't so thrilled, though, as she is less food-centric and mopes without me. At least it's good to be home and not in a kennel! You're a lucky cat, Carlton. ~grin~ Don't forget it.