by Carlton Cat
BIRDS. What's all that about? What is the point of them? They flap about making weird chirping noises, sit in trees and make a mess on the ground. That. Is. All.
Why did the Mr and Mrs set up a bird table in the garden? It only encourages the little twerps.
I know it’s good fun leaping at them and chasing them. Their chirps turn to squawks then - but I could live without this little amusement.
Yesterday I was even more pissed off at them than usual. I was lying on the windowsill catching a few rays when this blackbird landed on a tree outside and started chirruping away. Annoyed at having my sleep interrupted, I leapt up to catch it…and hit my head on the window. Yes, folks, the window was shut.
I fell behind the sofa. And all I could hear was that darn bird continuing to sing some stupid bloody song and, what was worse, he had been joined by a few other members of his flipping feathered family. My head was hurting so I have a valid excuse for what happened next.
I was dazed. I was tired. I was angry… I had forgotten about the closed window. So I tried to jump through it again.
This was all bad enough but then I heard laughter. The Mr and Mrs were standing there guffawing away like a pair of idiots. I put on my most disdainful expression, held my tail up high and stalked through the door.
It's a funny thing, though. Since that little incident I haven't seen a bird at all.
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