Friday, 7 October 2016

Carlton Comes Clean

It's Friday - the day Carlton takes over my blog. Views are his own and not necessarily, in fact, rarely, shared by the blog owner.

Carlton Comes Clean

by Carlton Cat

THE Mr and Mrs have a new vacuum cleaner.  It’s a state-of-the-art bagless upright with a quiet motor. The last one made enough noise to wake the dead and invariably sent me running out into the garden as if pursued by the hounds of hell.

It was a monstrous machine so, obviously, I treated it as a monster. And attacked it. It fell open and I leapt on its internal organs. Did you know that monsters’ stomachs are full of dust and fluff? It went everywhere, all over the sitting-room floor, covering the furniture, books, ornaments and me. I sneezed so much I threw up.

While trying to escape the monster’s clutches I pulled the lead and the monster flew across the room and ended up wedged under the sofa.

Not all cats hate vacuum cleaners

The Mr and Mrs took one look at the chaos, laughed at me covered in fluff (they often laugh inappropriately at my predicaments) and decided Monstrous Machine had had its day. They cleaned it up to give it away to the Mr’s niece, a student, who is moving into a (catless) apartment.

The Mrs tried out the new machine. It glided effortlessly across the room, picking up everything in its path. Until… Stop! Stop! That’s my toy! Give it back, you monster!

The Mrs switched off the machine, pulled Fluffy Bum from its jaws and threw it my direction.

‘You’re going to have to be careful about where you leave your toys from now on,’ she says.

Really...? I fear new vacuum cleaner’s days are numbered.

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  1. I fear the vacuum might be on the losing end. After deploying the dust and dirt everywhere and throwing up, only us slaves can still laugh at that. if kids or spouse did that, we would not be laughing:)

  2. I never had an animal that liked vacuum cleaners. Never tried vacuuming a cat, but my dogs certainly never liked it one bit. So I don't blame you Carlton. Definitely a monster which needs dealing with.

  3. Oh, no! Not a toy eater! Your humans need to take better care. ~nods~ I make sure to clear the floor before bringing out the monster cleaning tools.

  4. MOL Good luck with dat handsum. We've been tryin' to get rid of da toy eatin' carpet monster fur years, but mommy says it ain't goin' anywhere.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena


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