Monday, 7 November 2016

I'm Leaving Home, Bye-Bye

It's supposed to be Friday- the day Carlton takes over my blog, but it is Monday and he is three days late with his post. Not his fault, as no doubt he will tell you in his own inimitable style. Views are his own and not necessarily, in fact, rarely, shared by the blog owner.

 
I'm Leaving Home, Bye-Bye

by Carlton Cat



IS it Friday, Mr and Mrs? Is it? NO, IT IS NOT. It's Monday and I am three days late with my post. The traitorous pair were off gallivanting for the weekend leaving me home, nearly alone, for THREE WHOLE DAYS. The laptop was firmly closed and I couldn't open it. I know I am uber intelligent but I do not have opposable thumbs. Not yet, anyway - I'm working on it.

I have made up my mind up to leave home. What brought this on? It wasn't only that you my loyal fans, were deprived of my erudite, witty and apposite post but because the Mr and Mrs overslept this morning.

Nothing to do with me running around the bedroom, bringing in a dead mouse, knocking items one by one off the dressing-table in the middle of the night, I'm sure, but because they were so tired from GALLIVANTING for three days.

Suitcase inspection.
 Then in their rush to get to work on time they grabbed cat food from the cupboard of a brand that I had previously rejected. I cannot tolerate such treatment. I shall leave later after I have nibbled just enough of the vile concoction to save me from death by starvation. I shall need my strength later to find a new home with people who appreciate my high standards and who will not abandon me to the clutches of cruel cat-sitters who don't even know the bedroom door must be kept open at all times and or even how to rub my ears to optimum effect.

Goodbye, cruel people. I am off to pastures new.

After I have had more of vile concoction.

After I have had a snooze.

After I have chased birds in the garden.

After I have played with Fluffy Bum.

.....I might leave it until tomorrow now.



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6 comments:

pilch92 15andmeowing said...

You poor kitty, you can stay with us.

Jo said...

Such neglect Carlton, I do sympathise but I suggest you give Mr. & Mrs. another chance.

Liz A. said...

That's terrible. Run away. That'll show them.

The Island Cats said...

Just make sure your back in time for dinner. ;)

diedre Knight said...

Ha! Fabulous, but please don't leave ;-) They'll come to their senses and probably buy a week's worth of fantastic treats and toys especially for you.

Darla M Sands said...

Believe me when I say that you are better off where you are. There are many meaner folk out on the streets. Tough it out and give them another chance, Carlton! You won't regret it.